sunless tanner + drinking = woops

Self tanner is one of those things that you don't talk about.  It's like Fight Club.  You use it, you see other people who clearly have used it, but you don't talk about it.  You don't say "Hey, nice fake tan" or "Hey, you should probably go easy on that Jersey Shore look you got going on".  

But here I am, talking about it, breaking the first rule.

I leave for Vegas today for one of my best friend's bachelorette weekend (go easy on me Vegas, it's my first time), and I'm really excited to finally go and see what all the hubub is about!

Nature's Gate Sunless Tanner 

So obviously, it would make sense that this morning I woke up hungover (good prep) and streaked with self tanner (bad prep).

I'll back up a little but really that is the punch line.

Last night I was out with some hometown folks which was a lot of fun, maybe too much considering I'm leaving for Vegas today...but I'm on "Vegation" (Vegas + vacation?) so I figured that a few drinks would be good to prep me for the weekend.

Then once I was back home last night and I started to worry about how pale I was (due to the fact that I'm Irishly fair skinned and that it's January).

I suppose what happened was after I Facebook bombed some people (sorry if you were caught in my posting spree...or maybe I'm not sorry) I thought it would be a good idea to apply self tanner to help with this pale problem I have.

I use self tanner once in a while when I know that I will blind people with my whiteness, and when I haven't been in the sun to give me a natural sun related glow.

I've gotten pretty good over the years at applying it evenly and despite the fact that it's clearly fake, and people who know me know that I don't TAN like that, I like to be tan once in a while.  My suggestion is to apply self tanner then go over all the areas with body lotion to smooth out/even out the tanner and add extra moisture and better smelling lotion.

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NOTE:  What is important in terms of health for things like sunless tanner, or any lotion is to make sure that it is PARABIN free (anything in the ingredients that contains the word PARABIN or the like).  Parabins are very very very very bad for you (and in a lot of products) and it actually turns into formaldehyde on your skin.

Gross.

So, for sunless tanning I suggest Nature's Gate (you can get it at Whole Foods).  Looks pretty good on if you can reduce your human error - which was my issue last night.

Also, if you need further reasons to try self tanner, and avoid things like tanning booths, take a look at this video:

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So, to finish my story.

I think last night I assumed that I was good enough at applying it that I should do so before going to bed...allowing for maximum soak-into-skin time, clearly.

Well, the logic was half good.  If I had done a better job applying I'd be proud of myself and I'd have a nice tan.

This morning, however, I woke up with a dark tan in some places and some paler streaks in others.

I literally laughed at myself for the first half hour I was up.  Laughed while making coffee, laughed while making breakfast...it just cracked me up.  What was I thinking?

My mother found it humorous also...her response was "You look like Kramer when he went tanning too much before meeting his girlfriend's family." hahah.   Ouch.  Well, she's right, I did.

Nature's Gate does actually give good color and is as "natural" a look as you can really get when it is NOT natural, but I just have to face the facts....I did a botch job.

I mean we aren't talking how I looked when Neutrogena came out with their first sulness tanner in like 1997 and I had no idea what I was doing.

You remember those days.  Orange like the Oompa Loompas.

Your fingers looked like you had some sort of disease from how dark and blotchy they were, and you clearly had to wear clothes that covered your full body because of how embarrassing it was.  That happened to me probably a couple of times.

And the smell it had. Yuck.

So thankfully it isn't THAT bad...but still pretty funny and just an example of how one is impaired when drinking.  Bad decisions don't always result in something monumental, but maybe something kind of embarrassing like zebra legs.

I'm hoping a long shower and scrub down will minimize the uneven color.

Okay, off to pack and shower and whatnot.

Wish me luck that my tan isn't a focal point (might have to combat it with cleavage to distract the eye) and that it is just an indicator that this trip to Vegas will be hilarious.  I'd be cool with that.

Heed my warning...apply sunless tanner at your own risk when intoxicated.

Until next time,
E