junk mail, bills and magazines, oh my!

Sorry to say for mail men and women everywhere, but I just wish everything was electronic.  Many things have changed over but frankly, not enough of apparently what my name is attached to.  I'm cool with magazines, but these damn credit card offers, I seriously get at least 3 every week.

No Citibank, I don't want another credit card, my sweet plastic friends are cozy in my wallet and there is no room for you.

How do you get rid of junk paper mail? I wish there was a place that compiled a list of all the mail and bills that came to your house so you can opt out and/or make sure you didn't miss anything important...it would save some trees and some paper cuts.  Million dollar idea frankly, someone should really start that if they haven't done so already.  If they have please let me know.

I'm a bit bitter as I just had to spend over an hour going through a Whole Foods' (I love me some Whole Foods, and you know how I feel about Mr. Joe the Trader!) paper bag full of mail that had not been opened and sorted in ages.  Literally I found Sports Illustrated from September 2010 and bills that were begging to be opened but I refused and instead paid online.  But then I was left with their papery reminder that I was lazy and didn't just open the damn envelope in the first place.

This is a terrible habit.  I need to be better about opening mail when I get it, recycle what I don't need/want and filing what I do.  I mean it is so simple, but for some reason the last thing I want to do is even check the mailbox, never mind be proactive about it.

Did I mention the paper cuts?

I got one on my knuckle, and you know that is the worst because it keeps reopening when I use my hand.  The worst.  Well actually, the worst is manila folder cuts, eek.

Medical bills, who pays those on time? Apparently not me, because I found many duplicate bill notifications...and even one collection warning. Woops, good thing I did actually miraculously pay them before that point.  Typically once the labels turned red (from originally yellow) I knew it was time, and they mean business.

Changing address.  This is a whole other issue.  So for the major things like bank, cell phone, credit card it is easy to know what to change and how to change them.  I'm not sure what I want to change my address for frankly.  This move may actually cut out my junk mail!  I feel bad for the guys moving into my place next month:  Here guys! Here is the Working Mother Magazine that I have no idea how I ended up receiving as I don't yet have children and only recently landed a job, JCrew Catalogs and my Discover 0% APR for 12 months offer.  You are welcome.

Well when I put my mind to it I do ultimately get organized.  I actually have a pretty good little filing box (seen here) where I end up knowing where important things are.  I really prefer to be organized I just don't know why I wait until the paper is spilling onto the floor.  In my next residence, or my next life, I suppose I'll try to do this differently.

I've realized there are some specific things that I have a hard time throwing away: birthday cards (I wish I was less efficient of taking the money out of cards, so that I could happen upon $100 at a later date), plastic hotel keys from cool places, business cards despite my lack of need for the services offered, my own old business cards from previous jobs, any printed photos regardless of the content/people in them, little nick-knacks that I've acquired as freebies with logos on them (that I might want someday, but definitely won't need any day).

One thing that kind of worries me is throwing away all this mail with my name and address and stuff all over it. I know that nothing with really sensitive information is going into the recycling bin, but isn't that how identity theft happens?  Maybe that's my subconscious excuse for keeping it versus getting rid of it.

I mean clearly I'm not on the show Hoarders (yikes, those poor folks, it's terrible) but I do wish I was able to de-clutter more.  Don't get me started on junk drawers.  Sexy isn't it, me talking about my bad habits? Ha. Oh well.

Well the project for the day is complete and no longer calling my name from the corner behind my desk (where I pretend it's not visible).  I did find a $5 winning scratch ticket, so I got that going for me, which is nice.

If you have thoughts on how to stay organized with paper mail, going electronic, changing addresses or generally how to maybe not air so much of your dirty laundry at any opportunity for the entertainment of others, let me know.

Until next time,
E

righting a capsized ship

So, I go to therapy.  It’s my opinion (more than ever since I started getting my own) that every therapist should get some therapy at some points during their careers.  The value of it is to understand what it is to be a therapy client, continue to work and grow as a human and a clinician, as well as working on managing carrying the weight of many people’s painful/tragic/amazing/wonderful/miraculous life stories…as well as your own.

I also think that there is value in walking the walk.  I think that therapy can help the “worried well” possibly just as much as those with more severe diagnoses or troubles.  When I say worried well (I forget where I heard that term, probably a professor), I mean the people who aren’t compromised by mental health challenges; but the people who could benefit from some objective feedback on things like interpersonal challenges, relationship challenges, managing stress, dealing with loss, etc. 

I mean to be fair, we all experience hardships, no?  I mean if you’re perfect and you have no challenges, and you can’t grow and understand yourself better, then sign yourself up for some studies because you are really one of the rare specimens…

Anyway, enough of that soap box (though I strongly suggest it for anyone)…

I was walking home from my therapy appointment today and stopped on the way at Trader Joes to pick up some yummy dinner stuff for the rest of the week (I’m newly obsessed with their Thai and Indian frozen food). 

I had my Pandora playing while I was in TJ’s as it makes the shopping experience less stressful, since there were about 372 other people in there.  While it was distracting I wasn’t actually paying attention to the songs that were playing.  It was acting as my buffer to all the stimuli of the people in the store so I could get in and get out.  I wanted to be in myself a little after the session I had.

I had talked about some recent disappointments that had come up, and I don’t know about you…but disappointment is one of the hardest things for me to experience.  I typically make decisions or am strategic enough that I avoid disappointment for the most part, but when it hits me I have a hard time with it.

Disappointment is this funny thing where it can knock the wind out of your sails in a different way than sadness, because it means that there was an expectation that wasn’t met, or a hope that wasn’t realized.  The vision of something that could have been, is no longer. 

We all have this feeling from time to time, but I guess what is important is what we do with it.  Do we take it and let it throw us off course?  Do we ignore it, breeze past it and distract ourselves with whatever expectation/hope is on the horizon?  Maybe what’s healthy is somewhere in the middle…some sort of acknowledgment and then, letting it go.

On my walk home it began to rain, which it has been doing on and off for the last day or so, and in that moment instead of pulling out my umbrella I keyed into the music that was playing in my ears.  Sometimes I’m not really listening, like in TJ’s, when I’m distracted, or its just quietly in the background…but in this moment I was locked into the song that was playing. 

It was a fairly upbeat song, which almost compelled me to kind of dance down the sidewalk with my groceries, but seeing as I’m not in a perpetual music video (where all the other people on the sidewalk would join in…and we would sing and dance in the rain…ever have that fantasy?) I just added some more rhythm to my strut, rather subconsciously.

Anywho.  The next song was a bit slower, which made me listen to the words.  The words were something I can’t even remember now a couple hours later, since the connection I had with them was fleeting. In the moment I thought, “How does Pandora know what I’m thinking?”.

I don’t really think that, but you know that feeling when a song comes on the radio and it is exactly what you needed in that moment.  It clarified something for me and in that moment there was relief about the things I was worrying about.

I mean there is a chicken-egg effect of mood on music, and music on mood…this is why I tell my clients who have a hard time regulating their moods, or are easily triggered into a negative mood “if you’re feeling sad, steer clear of sad music…if you’re angry, something soothing may be a good bet”.  Regardless, the song was helpful.

By the time I was home, I was decompressed from my session, had an extra bounce in my step, but most importantly I also had allowed myself the time to feel disappointed, and then that was it.

Like I typically do, I’m back to baseline, feeling pretty good, had some Thai food, I might have a glass of wine and clean my room…maybe get some work done, I don’t know, I don’t know if I’ll have enough time…

There is relief in letting yourself feel things that you typically fight off.  There is a release in allowing yourself some space to feel it, and a sense of accomplishment when you allow yourself move past/out of it.

I’ll say that aside from my nature; a walk and some good music (don’t forget good food and a glass or red) are part of the equation for righting my capsized ship, and sailing forward.

With these disappointments I’ve been alluding to (both work and personal life related), I have a clean slate on a couple aspects of my life...and that is actually exciting.  You know what they say; when one porthole closes…

Until next time,
E