Fall Back

I'm writing as I finish what is one of my first hot coffees in a long time, before I head to grab more coffee with an old friend who is in town and I haven't seen in a long time, then head to the gym for one of my first runs in a long time (started back up this week).

I'm the type of person that reluctantly drinks hot coffee when the season changes, but prefers iced coffee...even in the winter like when it's a balmy 45 degrees on a sunny white day.

But anyway, so it's a hot coffee kind of day today because today feels like Fall (and in 5 days it will be).

It's crisp cool air, sunny, not too windy, and is a marked change from even just yesterday, never mind summer weather from last week/last month.

Change is coming.

Sometimes with me, it takes a small thing to shift my perspective and clear my head.  I feel like the chill this morning is doing that.

The chill in the air makes it all feel clean, and new.  You know what I mean?

While I love summer, sometimes the sheer heat and humidity is nice but in a sense is stifling or oppressive in some ways, but this weather (mid 60s and sunny) feels like a relief and like a big exhale out. It's hard to explain.

some e cards make me happy

The relief I feel is kind of surprising since this is the first Fall that I haven't had a "plan" in the works.  All of growing up school was starting and it marked the beginning of a new "year", after college I was working full time for 3 years (so that was the plan), then 2 years of graduate school...and now...well...

I guess my plan is to find more work so that I'm not just a part-time therapist, part-time poor twenty-something, as a result a part-time socialite/part-time adult, etc.

Speaking of socialite.  The last week or so I've seen so many of my closest friends.  I've been in and out of the city more than I had in the last month and it's been so enjoyable to catch up and be in the mix of the hustle and bustle (though my bank account is yelling at me through emails warning me that I'm not really able to have this much fun).

Things that we've been catching up on are relationships (new, none, moving in-togethers, engagements, recent breakups...they run the gamut these days), work (new, not enough, too much, needing of a change, etc) and family life (the good, the bad and the ugly, births, deaths, divorce, parents dating...).

All of a sudden it's like wow, I'm an adult.  For real.  Like, no question.  The things that are going on in my life and my friends lives are always what's been going on, but on such a larger level.  Our concerns are maintaining our credit, maintaining our health and finding happiness with others and inside ourselves.  This isn't fun and games.

Although there are a lot of fun things that I'm not really willing to give up with my newly realized "adultness".  I want to work on being sillier, and more spontaneous.  I've learned that to survive circumstance, being serious and organized and planned out are the best routes of attack, but I'm feeling like I need an adventure, I need some excitement (positive/happy excitement vs. bad news upheaval).

One example is that I'm getting the travel bug really badly.  I haven't traveled really since going to Australia last spring...so it's been almost a year and a half.

This is just unacceptable.

For someone that was used to getting on a plane and going somewhere about 4 times a year, this is just painful.  I need some exploration.  The reason, that I haven't traveled, is clearly money.  I need to find some sugar daddy to take me places, or just a new job...whichever comes first but I need to do some traveling.

I actually do have some small trips coming up for weddings/bachelorettes and the like, and I have to head down to the Caribbean (I realize this sounds like a burden but it's kind of an emotionally charged trip, for various reasons) to do some paperwork on some property that has been sold from my family...so I will be on planes soon...which is great...but I want to do more.

I want to go to far off places and have rich experiences...for trips that I'm planning merely for exploration I'll have to wait a bit, which is teaching me some great patience.

Here I am saying I love the weather that is headed towards us for the next couple of months, and in the next breath I'm saying I want to get away.

So the lesson here is for me (and it keeps coming back to this) is to be content with what is and remember to be thankful for what I have going on now, despite it not being the picture I imagined.

It's time to get back to the simple pleasures in life, it's time to get back to appreciating what is going well...it's time to Fall Back.

It's about 6 weeks until Halloween (one of my favorite holidays) and 10 weeks until Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday)...but I'm going to start my thanks early for the change of season.

Just a few things I'm thankful/looking forward to this fall:

• Apple picking 
• Driving and seeing foliage 
• Fall camping?
• Taking a deep breath of crisp air and feeling invigorated
• Yom Kippur (no lie, it's my favorite jewish holiday...something about the fasting helps to mark the new year and brings a lot of closure from the year before and hope for the next one)
• Football, Sunday Funday's, are back
• Hockey is around the corner
• Bye bye humidity, hello good hair days
• Halloween costume planning (thoughts?? last year I was a double rainbow)
• Halloween - dressing up despite my age
• Getting back into my running routine
• Snuggling up with my down comforter 
• Jeans
• Getting away with skipping a couple days shaving my legs (ladies you know you're with me on this one)
• Boots
• Scarves
• Sweaters
• Not worrying about the fact that I don't have a tan
• Thanksgiving with my wonderful family
• I'm not worried that winter is coming, I have AWD and heated seats now :)

What are you looking forward to?

Until next time,
E