Back in April, Nickelodeon announced they were bringing back shows from when we were kids to run reruns.
Listen to the two stories I've linked here, it will bring you back...NPR covered it then, and today on my drive home from seeing some clients, NPR was revisiting this as the 90's block premiers tonight...
The "story" here is that as twenty-somethings we were the last crop of kids to use TV as our primary entertainment. The half generation younger than us (even probably your younger siblings/cousins) had internet from the get-go and now all the playstations/wii's their hearts could desire.
Obviously, we had Nintendo, but for the most part we were glued to the TV vs. the game console/laptop, which is really different in comparison to the youth now, for instance.
So what pops into your mind when you think of the following?
Pete and Pete
Solute Your Shorts
All That
Double Dare
Clarissa Explains it All
Doug
...these were some of the shows that were highlighted in the clips, which sparked all sorts of memories for me. There are tons more treasures from our youth (Alex Mack, anyone?).
You've probably also played the game "Remember that show?" where you describe the show you remember watching as a kid...it's so fun to reminisce.
Then there are also the elusive shows that you can see in your head when you close your eyes, but when you describe it no one knows what the hell you are talking about? I had that for a long time with the Noozles. I forget who finally knew what I was talking about, but it was like my inner child had finally been acknowledged because I wasn't the only one who remembered this show.
Anyway. Just wanted to let you know that Nick will be playing all of our old favorites starting tonight at midnight EST.
Enjoy reminiscing and being brought back to being a kid for a few hours. Share your favorite shows on this post (below), and let me know if you catch any episodes that you love, now that they're replaying!
Until next time,
E
Monday, July 25, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Love Your City, Ghettos and All
I hope this post comes off how I want it to. This is not judgmental or critical of anyone in particular or any group in particular. In fact I think I'm realizing that I'm not as culturally aware as I thought I was. This is an opportunity and an area of growth for me that I'm happy I stumbled upon.
...just a few random thoughts (that are not groundbreaking I assure you) about driving, city and culture.
Yesterday I was driving through a part of the city that I wasn't used to (a few run down impoverished areas where a portion of the minorities in the city, live). I could have sworn I was in a different city than I had lived in for the last 5 years.
First of all, how did I not really know what these parts looked/felt like? I knew they existed obviously, as they show up in the news a lot and I know people who have lived in those areas..but I had apparently not made my way through the heart of it before. I felt like I learned a lot just from driving through (and garnered some perspective on a few of my clients who are poor or disenfranchised...).
Because I was in an area that I haven't been before, and was trying not to get lost (what did we do without GPS?), I was hyperfocused on my surroundings and where I was going...as a result I noticed things that either are more apparent there or more likely just that I don't typically notice.
Evacuation Route: Even if there is no catastrophe going on, there is some relief when you realize that you are driving the direction that the "Evacuation Route" sign is pointing...just in case. Ever notice that you're like "oh well, good at least I'll get out if I need to"...? Not really? Well that is probably because you see one of those signs in each town, and no follow-up signs. Where am I supposed to go after I pass this sign? What happens to the people coming the other direction that don't know this is the way they should be going?
Reckless Driving: There are some people who don't know how to drive, or don't care that you do. Don't you know that you are crazy if you are going fast than me, and you are annoying if you are going slower? I had a guy in-front of me cut over all the traffic lanes in a way that oncoming traffic almost hit him while he took a left hand turn. Reckless drivers come in all shapes, sizes, colors, races, backgrounds, and genders. There are a lot of stereotypes out there but frankly, I've seen a lot of 30 year old white guys drive like ass holes, so they are not exempt from needing to brush up on some rules of the road.
Not Even Padiddle: I'm not sure how, but people are not aware that their headlights are not on. You can try and tell them by flashing your lights, beeping, waving your hands, but in the dark they think you're just being a jerk. Really the only way they will realize it is if you drive up next to them at a red light and risk being misinterpreted when you yell at the person in the car to open their window. One lady was thankful actually and turned them on, but she was one of three cars I saw in a 15 minute drive (at night) where people didn't have their lights on.
Stoop Social: Hanging out on the stoop is a cultural thing...a culture however, that I'm not a part of but feel like I might enjoy. It would not be very fulfilling here in the burbs, but once I'm back in the city I want to sit on my stoop and see what I see. I have a feeling it might be worth the people watching, if nothing else.
Minority Based on Context: In a place where being white is the minority, there are some feelings that come up. Feeling like you don't belong, feeling like you have something to prove (like that you can hang), concern of being judged, concern of being in danger (though likely not realistic), feeling of being "other". I have to say there was something exhilarating about it, I felt like there was something for me to learn. Don't misunderstand, my hometown is fairly diverse it's not like I haven't seen people outside of my own culture, but I have always lived in more culturally "vanilla" (pardon the term) parts of the cities/towns I've resided in and haven't spent much time in the ghettos or subsidized areas. Without sounding ignorant, I wonder if people who look different than the bulk of people around them, feel this way walking around other parts of the city? Is it ever just so common that it isn't recognizable anymore? My guess is not, my guess is that for some this feels challenging on a daily basis.
You're not Paranoid: If you think others are looking at you funny, you might be right. "Who brought her here" I'm sure was thought or said on some stoops when I got out of my car at my friend's house. Not that she lives in the ghetto, but the area is closer to those parts and therefore is more populated by non-white families in multifamily homes. This was actually okay. I'm not a threat, and I clearly don't look like a threat, in fact I'm sure it was probably funny to some of the neighbors who were seeing me there.
Upgrade: I'm so ready to drive a nicer car, I'm getting increasingly frustrated with Ms. Vicki...
Love Your City, Ghettos and All: Explore the areas you don't have reason to explore. I regret not having seen more of the beautiful less popular, cultural, interesting, historical areas of the city. You may find some interesting things and have a better sense of who calls your area home, too. I thought I knew, but I didn't.
Alrighty folks, have a wonderful weekend...oh and, safe driving y'all.
Until next time,
E
...just a few random thoughts (that are not groundbreaking I assure you) about driving, city and culture.
Yesterday I was driving through a part of the city that I wasn't used to (a few run down impoverished areas where a portion of the minorities in the city, live). I could have sworn I was in a different city than I had lived in for the last 5 years.
First of all, how did I not really know what these parts looked/felt like? I knew they existed obviously, as they show up in the news a lot and I know people who have lived in those areas..but I had apparently not made my way through the heart of it before. I felt like I learned a lot just from driving through (and garnered some perspective on a few of my clients who are poor or disenfranchised...).
Because I was in an area that I haven't been before, and was trying not to get lost (what did we do without GPS?), I was hyperfocused on my surroundings and where I was going...as a result I noticed things that either are more apparent there or more likely just that I don't typically notice.
Evacuation Route: Even if there is no catastrophe going on, there is some relief when you realize that you are driving the direction that the "Evacuation Route" sign is pointing...just in case. Ever notice that you're like "oh well, good at least I'll get out if I need to"...? Not really? Well that is probably because you see one of those signs in each town, and no follow-up signs. Where am I supposed to go after I pass this sign? What happens to the people coming the other direction that don't know this is the way they should be going?
Reckless Driving: There are some people who don't know how to drive, or don't care that you do. Don't you know that you are crazy if you are going fast than me, and you are annoying if you are going slower? I had a guy in-front of me cut over all the traffic lanes in a way that oncoming traffic almost hit him while he took a left hand turn. Reckless drivers come in all shapes, sizes, colors, races, backgrounds, and genders. There are a lot of stereotypes out there but frankly, I've seen a lot of 30 year old white guys drive like ass holes, so they are not exempt from needing to brush up on some rules of the road.
Not Even Padiddle: I'm not sure how, but people are not aware that their headlights are not on. You can try and tell them by flashing your lights, beeping, waving your hands, but in the dark they think you're just being a jerk. Really the only way they will realize it is if you drive up next to them at a red light and risk being misinterpreted when you yell at the person in the car to open their window. One lady was thankful actually and turned them on, but she was one of three cars I saw in a 15 minute drive (at night) where people didn't have their lights on.
Stoop Social: Hanging out on the stoop is a cultural thing...a culture however, that I'm not a part of but feel like I might enjoy. It would not be very fulfilling here in the burbs, but once I'm back in the city I want to sit on my stoop and see what I see. I have a feeling it might be worth the people watching, if nothing else.
Minority Based on Context: In a place where being white is the minority, there are some feelings that come up. Feeling like you don't belong, feeling like you have something to prove (like that you can hang), concern of being judged, concern of being in danger (though likely not realistic), feeling of being "other". I have to say there was something exhilarating about it, I felt like there was something for me to learn. Don't misunderstand, my hometown is fairly diverse it's not like I haven't seen people outside of my own culture, but I have always lived in more culturally "vanilla" (pardon the term) parts of the cities/towns I've resided in and haven't spent much time in the ghettos or subsidized areas. Without sounding ignorant, I wonder if people who look different than the bulk of people around them, feel this way walking around other parts of the city? Is it ever just so common that it isn't recognizable anymore? My guess is not, my guess is that for some this feels challenging on a daily basis.
You're not Paranoid: If you think others are looking at you funny, you might be right. "Who brought her here" I'm sure was thought or said on some stoops when I got out of my car at my friend's house. Not that she lives in the ghetto, but the area is closer to those parts and therefore is more populated by non-white families in multifamily homes. This was actually okay. I'm not a threat, and I clearly don't look like a threat, in fact I'm sure it was probably funny to some of the neighbors who were seeing me there.
Upgrade: I'm so ready to drive a nicer car, I'm getting increasingly frustrated with Ms. Vicki...
Love Your City, Ghettos and All: Explore the areas you don't have reason to explore. I regret not having seen more of the beautiful less popular, cultural, interesting, historical areas of the city. You may find some interesting things and have a better sense of who calls your area home, too. I thought I knew, but I didn't.
Alrighty folks, have a wonderful weekend...oh and, safe driving y'all.
Until next time,
E
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Climate Reality Project: September 14th, 2011
Let me be clear, this is NOT a political issue by nature. If you believe that it is, consider yourself missinformed. This issue has been made political in order to instill fear of things not related to taking careof the planet. Please consider using an open mind as you watch this clip and then read on. The Climate Reality Project has just announced the following:
What "big business" (oil, typically) and parts of the governing body would like you to believe is that this "issue" is political. They have done a great job of making you afraid of job loss and financial downturn versus the reality of the health of the earth and ourselves. The truth is that this has become a polarizing topic, since there are a lot of politicians who have great stakes in the oil business...but is that reason enough to forget that it is still an important issue?
Unfortunately many people when faced with picking between health and money, choose money. Many businesses, scientists, and normal every day people, however, are showing us more and more that ultimately neither has to suffer as it is right now. We can be responsible with the earth while there is a lot of money to be made in greener energy and moving away from big oil.
Recently I was at a documentary showing about Mountain Top Removal, which is really as bad as it sounds, in the beautiful Appalachian (typo earlier, sorry!) mountains. I encourage you to click on the link, type in your zip code and see how this coal collecting and nature wrecking procedure affects you (I looked mine up, one of the electrical companies in my town buys energy from a plant that uses coal from Mountain Top Removal). Some places you don't have a choice, and some places you do.
The presenter said something really important...we need to be unified in bringing awareness and action around these important issues in order to not look like Green Wackjobs, but to instead be interpreted as a force of positive change. So in this, I am really asking you to help spread the word, repost this post, and not leave me hanging alone in this fight.
Actually, I'm not alone. The movement towards change is happening. Is it enough yet? No, but with each person who speaks up, posts about taking care of the world, writes to their selectmen or statespersons, or starts a conversation about what they know, we grow.
Now I realize a lot of people when they hear the name Al Gore, instantly zone out. I get it. He made an ass of himself when he said he invetned the internet, and his marriage didn't work, but frankly he was almost our president and has been making big strides towards change on a very big level. Not many people are doing this and for that I really respect him. He's human, so he can be pulled apart, but he has done an amazing job with the Climate Reality Project (formerly The Climate Project).
The Climate Reality Project is calling for a day of awarenress to blast out the naysayers, continue to show proof that this is NOT an oppinion, this is the reality of the world: We can't continue to be reckless with carbon emissions, how we use water and containers, how it is important to buy local in order to save on shipping costs as well as transport emissions, smoking and poisoning not only ourselves and our loved ones, but our air, as well as with the speed of technology our growing disposable society.
It can be different than it is.
To be fair, it is much easier to ignore this reality than to do something about it. It is much easier to go along our days and not think about how our actions (or inaction) is affecting our world now, and even more importantly for our children. It's much easier to not "see" any of the damadge when you live in places not affected yet, but in reality even if you aren't aware, everywhere has been affected.
I will continue to post what I learn about other aspects of this effort such as changing access to owning, renting, or loaning your roof to electrical companies for solar pannels, wind power and how rediculous it is peole think that it ruins the landscape - if we don't do something the landscape will be ruined/gone and toxic, fracking (natural gas collection, affects the ground water, people can light their tap water on fire due to the amount of gas in it)...just to name a few.
So you ask, what can I really do, E? I'll tell you.
E
Sources/links for this post:
http://www.ilovemountains.org/
http://climaterealityproject.org/
http://venturebeat.com/2011/07/12/sunrun-maryland-expansion/
http://www.awea.org/
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/11_11/b4219025777026_page_2.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U01EK76Sy4A
http://planetsave.com/2011/07/13/crazy-environmental-global-warming-politics/
What "big business" (oil, typically) and parts of the governing body would like you to believe is that this "issue" is political. They have done a great job of making you afraid of job loss and financial downturn versus the reality of the health of the earth and ourselves. The truth is that this has become a polarizing topic, since there are a lot of politicians who have great stakes in the oil business...but is that reason enough to forget that it is still an important issue?
Unfortunately many people when faced with picking between health and money, choose money. Many businesses, scientists, and normal every day people, however, are showing us more and more that ultimately neither has to suffer as it is right now. We can be responsible with the earth while there is a lot of money to be made in greener energy and moving away from big oil.
Recently I was at a documentary showing about Mountain Top Removal, which is really as bad as it sounds, in the beautiful Appalachian (typo earlier, sorry!) mountains. I encourage you to click on the link, type in your zip code and see how this coal collecting and nature wrecking procedure affects you (I looked mine up, one of the electrical companies in my town buys energy from a plant that uses coal from Mountain Top Removal). Some places you don't have a choice, and some places you do.
The presenter said something really important...we need to be unified in bringing awareness and action around these important issues in order to not look like Green Wackjobs, but to instead be interpreted as a force of positive change. So in this, I am really asking you to help spread the word, repost this post, and not leave me hanging alone in this fight.
Actually, I'm not alone. The movement towards change is happening. Is it enough yet? No, but with each person who speaks up, posts about taking care of the world, writes to their selectmen or statespersons, or starts a conversation about what they know, we grow.
Now I realize a lot of people when they hear the name Al Gore, instantly zone out. I get it. He made an ass of himself when he said he invetned the internet, and his marriage didn't work, but frankly he was almost our president and has been making big strides towards change on a very big level. Not many people are doing this and for that I really respect him. He's human, so he can be pulled apart, but he has done an amazing job with the Climate Reality Project (formerly The Climate Project).
The Climate Reality Project is calling for a day of awarenress to blast out the naysayers, continue to show proof that this is NOT an oppinion, this is the reality of the world: We can't continue to be reckless with carbon emissions, how we use water and containers, how it is important to buy local in order to save on shipping costs as well as transport emissions, smoking and poisoning not only ourselves and our loved ones, but our air, as well as with the speed of technology our growing disposable society.
It can be different than it is.
To be fair, it is much easier to ignore this reality than to do something about it. It is much easier to go along our days and not think about how our actions (or inaction) is affecting our world now, and even more importantly for our children. It's much easier to not "see" any of the damadge when you live in places not affected yet, but in reality even if you aren't aware, everywhere has been affected.
I will continue to post what I learn about other aspects of this effort such as changing access to owning, renting, or loaning your roof to electrical companies for solar pannels, wind power and how rediculous it is peole think that it ruins the landscape - if we don't do something the landscape will be ruined/gone and toxic, fracking (natural gas collection, affects the ground water, people can light their tap water on fire due to the amount of gas in it)...just to name a few.
So you ask, what can I really do, E? I'll tell you.
- Repost this blog entry, spread the word and support.
- Keep an eye out for more information here, and in the news about the event on September 14th & 15th.
- ****VERY important: Take 5 minutes and email your local government to see what changes can be done on a local level and tell them this is an important issue you will make deicions about in terms of re-election (every politicians primary goal). IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY: Message me I'll give you som examples!
- Do some of your own research...take everythign with a grain of salt, but understand that even DIRECTIONALY all of the facts show this is a big F-ing deal.
- Remember, being midnful of our health, the world's health and the future generations does not make you anti-American, it does not make you anti-business (large or small), it does not make you politcal. It makes you a part of what needs to happen.
- Check out this other post/blog for more info
E
Sources/links for this post:
http://www.ilovemountains.org/
http://climaterealityproject.org/
http://venturebeat.com/2011/07/12/sunrun-maryland-expansion/
http://www.awea.org/
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/11_11/b4219025777026_page_2.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U01EK76Sy4A
http://planetsave.com/2011/07/13/crazy-environmental-global-warming-politics/
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2
Monday, July 11, 2011
Dating: Meeting Online
So at the risk of sounding conceited, but still making a point I'm going to start by saying: I'm pretty awesome. I'd say think I'm decent looking, I'm smart, I'm educated, I sometimes make people laugh, I have a good head on my shoulders, I'm a good friend, I like to do fun things, I can dance pretty well when I've had a few drinks, I've dated around a decent amount, I meet people and hit it off, and I've had a long (long) term relationship, so all around it's clear that I'm not undatable.
Also, let me preface this post by keeping this in the spirit of not wishing for something that isn't (which I've been working on and I think it has helped with some of my anxiety around this whole relationship thing), is that while I'd like to be in a relationship, being single is not terrible at all. I've been having so much fun, and there is even part of me that thinks that it would be kind of challenging to adjust to being part of a couple again (although, I'm willing it if the right guy manifests).
Final note before I dive into the topic. I ask that you reserve your judgement. I also ask that you comment (anonymously if you so choose) to share your experience, thoughts, success stories, horror stories, whatever.
Okay here we go: online dating.
Oh, online dating. I'm really not sure where to start, so I guess I'll start with this month.
You can imagine that living at home isn't really that conducive to meeting people, but really the only thing truly limits is one night stands from the bar (Oh hey Ma, this is...wait what's your name again?)...and clearly at this point I'm over that, so it's left me with little excuse for not putting myself out there.
Living outside the city, however, is limiting in terms of just the sheer volume of people you might be able to meet out at a bar or in Starbucks (I'd love that, by the way, while I order my venti iced).
Living in the city where you are walking around, taking public transit, you are just exposed to many more people than when you are a bit more insular, commuting alone in your car, or driving to...well, Starbucks.
Since I've been back in my hometown, I had a few friends who had been online dating before and recently joined OkCupid who were talking about it, a good friend of mine from forever just got engaged so we are all chit chatting about all things bachelorette party and wedding planning, I hung out alone at a bar for the first time ever (the bartender is my friend and I arrived with someone, but stayed after they went home...kind of fun actually, good people watching), had some contact with people I've "dated"**, which was nice but brought up questions about, well practically everything.
So, with all that, and living in a new (but old) area I decided to give this newer site my friend had joined a shot. Why not. I've got some fun to be had, and it seems that my immediate options are exhausted for the time being. (If not then let me know before I'm off the market again!).
I admit this is not my first go round with online dating.
After my last long-term relationship ended, I joined JDate to get myself back out there, go on some dates and have some fun. At the time, I figured if I'm going to meet someone online, they might as well be Jewish to make my grandparents happy. I was pretty successful with it, meaning that I went out with a bunch of guys, met some cool people and then after a month or so was like "eh this is enough".
I also had a brief stint on eHarmony which was also successful, but like JDate, and likely like (likely like?) OkCupid, I burnt out kind of quickly. eHarmony is one that I think if I was 30-something and really looking for a compatible person so that I could make babies, that I'd focus on. I think that it ultimately has the best system and is less focused on what someone looks like and more about their character. Although, I went on dates with some cute guys, so it's not devoid of attractive people by any means.
The anxiety that comes with "blind dates" is almost too much. If you haven't experienced the anticipation of a first date or a blind date, then I suggest it. They say to do one thing every day that scares you, well, this might be your ticket.
For instance last night I went on a blind date from OkC (get with the lingo ppl), and the entire day leading up to it I was nervous. Once we met him I was relaxed, which is typical for me. The date was nice, he's a good guy (cute, smart, tall, Jewish) and we walked around a little town center eating ice cream and listening to a cover band play on their town common. It would have been a romantic cute date if I was interested in that way, but I wasn't.
I was disappointed that it wasn't "it", and felt kind of silly for being really nervous leading up to it. I think that it will help me to be less nervous next time around, but then again anxiety is a bitch. Luckily there are only a few things I get anxious about like first dates or being a passenger in a car with a driver that I deem as scary.
Over the last couple years I've probably gone on dates with about 12 guys from the online dating world, and I'd say that only 2 was a disaster, 2 I only went on 1 date with, 1 guy I went on like 7 dates with and the rest I went on 2-4 dates with. Those aren't terrible odds actually. I do a fairly good screening process since there are things I won't tolerate (being a cigarette smoker, someone shorter than me, someone who posts pictures of themselves in the mirror with their cell phone - learn how to take a self-timed picture or at least a self picture, avoid the bathroom mirror people) and I politely decline their offers and wait for a decent guy to come along.
The primary challenges with online dating being successful is chemistry. I think that someone can be amazing on paper and then you meet and it's like "yeahhh no." I also think that it probably happens that I (and others) dismiss someone online, but had we met them in a bar and felt chemistry may have been interested in (though most of the "in-bar" situations fizzle out after a few dates anyway). Keep your eyes out for a post on having parties, as I think this may be the key to meeting the right people (mutual friends as a filter).
There is stigma with online dating. Less so now, than a few years ago, since most people know great people who use the sites or even success stories of engagements/marriages from the online world, but still. The first question people ask when you are dating someone is "how did you meet?". Even still there is a sting of saying "online". But my friend said it best, "If you find someone you love and it's a great relationship, who the hell cares where you met them?". While I want a great story, what's more important is just being with someone that I love who we fulfill each other's needs and wants, and the rest just doesn't really matter.
The times they are a changing. Most of our communication is online these days anyway, and it's not a far stretch to imagine that more and more people will be meeting their significant others online. Ultimately you aren't dating online, you're MEETING online. I would recommend meeting people quickly so you can decide yay or nay and move on. The dating part should be in person, leave the online part to just the initial connection.
So if you've been on the fence about joining a site, just know that once you're on it, people will come out of the woodwork that you wouldn't expect who are already online dating.
I say go for it. The worst case is you have some crappy dates, feel anxious or it isn't the avenue where you ultimately find love. The benefit is it is a huge confidence booster, you get better at dating (it's like interviewing, the more you practice the better you are), you come out with some good stories, you meet cool people even if you don't want to date them, and it is just an extra avenue to possibly finding someone to be with.
Like my mom says: "You can't win the lottery if you don't play" (aside from the fact that most people don't win the lottery, this is a good analogy if you don't read into it)...and you know mom is always right.
Happy dating, wherever you meet!
Until next time,
OkE
**Dating: What the hell are we even classifying this as these days? Is this going on a couple of dates? Sleeping with on a regular basis? Boyfriend/Girlfriend? I guess I just use it for any situation where you have a non-platonic relationship or interest, ranging from where both of you are working towards figuring out if you're a good match by hanging out, to planning where the next place you're going to get it on is, to if you're official on Facebook. Fair?
Also, let me preface this post by keeping this in the spirit of not wishing for something that isn't (which I've been working on and I think it has helped with some of my anxiety around this whole relationship thing), is that while I'd like to be in a relationship, being single is not terrible at all. I've been having so much fun, and there is even part of me that thinks that it would be kind of challenging to adjust to being part of a couple again (although, I'm willing it if the right guy manifests).
Final note before I dive into the topic. I ask that you reserve your judgement. I also ask that you comment (anonymously if you so choose) to share your experience, thoughts, success stories, horror stories, whatever.
Okay here we go: online dating.
Oh, online dating. I'm really not sure where to start, so I guess I'll start with this month.
You can imagine that living at home isn't really that conducive to meeting people, but really the only thing truly limits is one night stands from the bar (Oh hey Ma, this is...wait what's your name again?)...and clearly at this point I'm over that, so it's left me with little excuse for not putting myself out there.
Living outside the city, however, is limiting in terms of just the sheer volume of people you might be able to meet out at a bar or in Starbucks (I'd love that, by the way, while I order my venti iced).
Living in the city where you are walking around, taking public transit, you are just exposed to many more people than when you are a bit more insular, commuting alone in your car, or driving to...well, Starbucks.
Since I've been back in my hometown, I had a few friends who had been online dating before and recently joined OkCupid who were talking about it, a good friend of mine from forever just got engaged so we are all chit chatting about all things bachelorette party and wedding planning, I hung out alone at a bar for the first time ever (the bartender is my friend and I arrived with someone, but stayed after they went home...kind of fun actually, good people watching), had some contact with people I've "dated"**, which was nice but brought up questions about, well practically everything.
So, with all that, and living in a new (but old) area I decided to give this newer site my friend had joined a shot. Why not. I've got some fun to be had, and it seems that my immediate options are exhausted for the time being. (If not then let me know before I'm off the market again!).
I admit this is not my first go round with online dating.
After my last long-term relationship ended, I joined JDate to get myself back out there, go on some dates and have some fun. At the time, I figured if I'm going to meet someone online, they might as well be Jewish to make my grandparents happy. I was pretty successful with it, meaning that I went out with a bunch of guys, met some cool people and then after a month or so was like "eh this is enough".
I also had a brief stint on eHarmony which was also successful, but like JDate, and likely like (likely like?) OkCupid, I burnt out kind of quickly. eHarmony is one that I think if I was 30-something and really looking for a compatible person so that I could make babies, that I'd focus on. I think that it ultimately has the best system and is less focused on what someone looks like and more about their character. Although, I went on dates with some cute guys, so it's not devoid of attractive people by any means.
The anxiety that comes with "blind dates" is almost too much. If you haven't experienced the anticipation of a first date or a blind date, then I suggest it. They say to do one thing every day that scares you, well, this might be your ticket.
For instance last night I went on a blind date from OkC (get with the lingo ppl), and the entire day leading up to it I was nervous. Once we met him I was relaxed, which is typical for me. The date was nice, he's a good guy (cute, smart, tall, Jewish) and we walked around a little town center eating ice cream and listening to a cover band play on their town common. It would have been a romantic cute date if I was interested in that way, but I wasn't.
I was disappointed that it wasn't "it", and felt kind of silly for being really nervous leading up to it. I think that it will help me to be less nervous next time around, but then again anxiety is a bitch. Luckily there are only a few things I get anxious about like first dates or being a passenger in a car with a driver that I deem as scary.
Over the last couple years I've probably gone on dates with about 12 guys from the online dating world, and I'd say that only 2 was a disaster, 2 I only went on 1 date with, 1 guy I went on like 7 dates with and the rest I went on 2-4 dates with. Those aren't terrible odds actually. I do a fairly good screening process since there are things I won't tolerate (being a cigarette smoker, someone shorter than me, someone who posts pictures of themselves in the mirror with their cell phone - learn how to take a self-timed picture or at least a self picture, avoid the bathroom mirror people) and I politely decline their offers and wait for a decent guy to come along.
The primary challenges with online dating being successful is chemistry. I think that someone can be amazing on paper and then you meet and it's like "yeahhh no." I also think that it probably happens that I (and others) dismiss someone online, but had we met them in a bar and felt chemistry may have been interested in (though most of the "in-bar" situations fizzle out after a few dates anyway). Keep your eyes out for a post on having parties, as I think this may be the key to meeting the right people (mutual friends as a filter).
There is stigma with online dating. Less so now, than a few years ago, since most people know great people who use the sites or even success stories of engagements/marriages from the online world, but still. The first question people ask when you are dating someone is "how did you meet?". Even still there is a sting of saying "online". But my friend said it best, "If you find someone you love and it's a great relationship, who the hell cares where you met them?". While I want a great story, what's more important is just being with someone that I love who we fulfill each other's needs and wants, and the rest just doesn't really matter.
The times they are a changing. Most of our communication is online these days anyway, and it's not a far stretch to imagine that more and more people will be meeting their significant others online. Ultimately you aren't dating online, you're MEETING online. I would recommend meeting people quickly so you can decide yay or nay and move on. The dating part should be in person, leave the online part to just the initial connection.
So if you've been on the fence about joining a site, just know that once you're on it, people will come out of the woodwork that you wouldn't expect who are already online dating.
I say go for it. The worst case is you have some crappy dates, feel anxious or it isn't the avenue where you ultimately find love. The benefit is it is a huge confidence booster, you get better at dating (it's like interviewing, the more you practice the better you are), you come out with some good stories, you meet cool people even if you don't want to date them, and it is just an extra avenue to possibly finding someone to be with.
Like my mom says: "You can't win the lottery if you don't play" (aside from the fact that most people don't win the lottery, this is a good analogy if you don't read into it)...and you know mom is always right.
Happy dating, wherever you meet!
Until next time,
OkE
**Dating: What the hell are we even classifying this as these days? Is this going on a couple of dates? Sleeping with on a regular basis? Boyfriend/Girlfriend? I guess I just use it for any situation where you have a non-platonic relationship or interest, ranging from where both of you are working towards figuring out if you're a good match by hanging out, to planning where the next place you're going to get it on is, to if you're official on Facebook. Fair?
Saturday, July 9, 2011
what will I think up next?
So it has been a while. I'm settling into my job, settling g into being back in my hometown and it feels like I have so much and not much to write about.
I'm feeling a biy paralyzed by having so many things to write about that I wanted to throw out the topics to hold my self more accountable for at least writing about some of them.
Things that have popped up are my thoughts on:
Sitting at a bar alone
Online dating
Mountain top removal and other environmental issues
Throwing parties
Serious mental illness
Having a dog who is getting old
How I am failing my running self challenge since I've moved
Just to name a few. How I feel about some of these things mat surprise you, or not. Obviously some are sexier topics than others, but I hope to get to some of these in the next week or so...
It's hard to sit down and write an entry when its 90 out and we have a pool. Mind you I'm writing this on my Droid as I'm in the sun (after rushing my dog to the vet for a messed up dew claw...). Shorter posts are easier on the phone but as you know, I'm a fan of rambling.
Well more to come soon...didn't want you to think I forgot about my avid readers or that I lost my desire to hear ( read) myself talk (write).
If you have a vote for what's to come, or something you wa t to know what my opinion on the topic is...feel free to comment!
Until next time,
Sunkissed E
I'm feeling a biy paralyzed by having so many things to write about that I wanted to throw out the topics to hold my self more accountable for at least writing about some of them.
Things that have popped up are my thoughts on:
Sitting at a bar alone
Online dating
Mountain top removal and other environmental issues
Throwing parties
Serious mental illness
Having a dog who is getting old
How I am failing my running self challenge since I've moved
Just to name a few. How I feel about some of these things mat surprise you, or not. Obviously some are sexier topics than others, but I hope to get to some of these in the next week or so...
It's hard to sit down and write an entry when its 90 out and we have a pool. Mind you I'm writing this on my Droid as I'm in the sun (after rushing my dog to the vet for a messed up dew claw...). Shorter posts are easier on the phone but as you know, I'm a fan of rambling.
Well more to come soon...didn't want you to think I forgot about my avid readers or that I lost my desire to hear ( read) myself talk (write).
If you have a vote for what's to come, or something you wa t to know what my opinion on the topic is...feel free to comment!
Until next time,
Sunkissed E
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2
Friday, July 1, 2011
July, already?
How the hell is it July? Don't get me wrong. I'm not mad that it is a beautiful, warm, partly sunny summer day by the pool, but I am a little freaked that half the year has already gone by. I need this shit to slow its roll...or at least I should be more present in the moment so that I'm savoring this time.Last night while I was hanging out with my cousin (who is my age) watching the sun set over the harbor near her homtown, we were talking about all sorts of things. We talked about the stage of life we are in, some of our ideals and goals, the futility of life and on the other hand the beauty and power of it.
The two of us are either incapable of having light conversations, or it's just that we choose not to. She is one of the handful of people I can literally say anything to and even if we disagree (happens a fair amount) that I know we always have eachother's back. It's probably what feeling close to a sibling feels like.
One of the things we talked about that has been "up" for me is feeling like I have nothing to "show" for overcoming some challenging things, getting into/through grad school and doing really well, being my age, etc...I've been a bit stuck in the feeling that not quite up to par in terms of this life stage.
You've read about how I feel about not living in the city any more, and how I want a new car to help mark some of my successes, but what still remains is this feeling of "after all that, is this it?".
It was hard to sit there, and see the beauty and NOT feel thankful. I'd say near impossible not to be filled with feeling content. In that moment there wasn't much of what I need/want that I didn't have, because in that moment I was just being and witnessing one of the earth's gifts to us, the sunset. Now, I'm deciding that I need and want to shift my perspective to be more like that all the time. Instead of focusing on wanting what I don't have (my own place, being in love, a Mercedes, to be thinner...those types of things) I'm going to spend my time focused on what I do have.
I've done this before of course, the whole being greatful/focusing on the positives, thing before...and frankly I do a bit of this everyday. I'd say not a day goes by that I'm not grateful for what I do have. So instead of these frequent but fleeting feelings/thoughts I'm going to try to shift my attitude in a bigger way.At the risk of being boring to read (since I'd guess it is often more interesting or intriguing to read about challenges and negativity or anger than appreciation) I'm going to try to waste minimal time wishing for what isn't, and enjoying what is.
I'm human, so I can't imagine I will be devoid of wishing and wanting (for instance I'm still planning on getting a newer car) but I'm going to make great efforts for my half-year resolution: to stop focusing on what isn't. I don't want 2012 to roll around and realize I was wishing away 2011. For all intents and purposes 2011 thus far has been one of the better years for me in say, 3-4 years. I'm biting my tongue, but it is the first year that I haven't lost someone I love or found out bad health news about someone I love in a while...and on top of that I finished grad school and landed a job in my new career. Really, what is there to complain about?
Well I'm Jewish, I'm a woman and I'm me...so I suppose there will always be things to complain about, but in the big picture things are good. I'm kicking this half of the year off with a good attitude.
Life right now is good. Anything that I wish and hope for? Well if those things come along then that's all gravy.
Happy July, join me in not letting the rest of this year slip by...
Until next time,
E
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2
Thursday, June 30, 2011
to upgrade, or not to upgrade in this disposable society
"Oh no! What happened?!" is a question I've been hearing a lot lately from friends, family and even strangers.
In a frenzy to get out the door in time to make it to class one morning, my headphones (I was obviously listening to NPR) got caught on the front door handle of the building and my Droid flew to the ground with such great force that it couldn't withstand the impact.
I swear the crackling that spread across the screen happened a split second after it hit, and since the world was moving in slow motion as I yelled "nooooo!" I caught a glimpse of it as if it were in slow motion on that show Time Warp.
It almost stopped me from going to class. I felt defeated before the day had even begun, but I picked up the phone and realized it still worked, so off to class I went.
...that was well over two months ago, and this is how it looks today.
Broken.
But functioning.
People have been very perplexed by this (unless of course their own phones look just like it, like my friend's twin phone...mine was in a case here)"How much does it cost to fix/replace?"
"Why haven't you gotten it fixed yet?"
"Doesn't it drive you crazy?"
"Awe your phone looks so sad."
It's pretty funny to me actually. Everyone from my aunt, to a guy at a bar, has commented about it. People seem so concerned about the screen on my phone, and are confused why I haven't replaced it yet.
I keep wanting to say "CONGRATULATIONS! You're the 100th person to comment on my broken phone!"
Yes, I'm aware that I pay insurance for a reason and that Verizon would replace my phone for $50.
But then I'd have to go in the store and be like "I dropped my phone", they'd have to ship me a new one (since they don't carry the replacement phones in store these days), I'd have to go to Verizon to transfer my info (or figure out how to do it myself, though it doesn't sync with my Mac), then send the broken phone back. Or something to that effect.
And then what happens to the broken one? With this much damage I'm hard pressed to think they would "fix" it to give to someone as refurbished...especially since the charger jack is jacked up and you have to wrap the chord around the phone to keep it tight enough to charge. So it would likely end up in a landfill somewhere. Or instead, it will end up in my desk drawer with all my other old phones (Nokia brick phone, a couple flip phones, a Blackberry) once I cave (IF I cave) and get an iPhone.
Okay so I should probably get a new phone, but why so much pressure to do so?
Are we such a disposable society that even when something works, if it is blemished we immediately assume we need to fix it, or get a new one? Yes, yes we are.
For the most part, the phone works. So for now, I'm keeping it.
There have been other things that I've easily tossed to the side for a new one. Typically when things are actually broken (like a camera that went swimming in my purse when my bottle of water opened inside), or when I've had something for a really long time and a new technology has made the other one nearly obsolete (think heavy old TV...in comes Mr. Flatscreen).
Obviously there are people who have thought about this. With the influx of electronics in our lives and the speed with which new electronic, gadgets and cars (I'll get to this in a second) come out and change, we are lured into replacing what we have.
We need to be more conscious of our "stuff".
Some companies (on a local and national level) are focusing on helping people with recycling/safely throwing away of odd things from refrigerators, batteries to electronics, which is really smart. But who knows about those services, or thinks about them when upgrading? Well, hopefully now you.
Sooo back to me and this upgrading shenanigans.
On a larger scale than my Droid, I recently asked myself the question "To upgrade, or not to upgrade", and I have made the decision to "upgrade" my car in the next few months or so.
I drive a 2001 Civic (Vicki) Coupe (it's a standard because I'm bad ass, though I'm kind of sick of shifting). I've had the car for about 8 years and it has really been a great little zippy car for the city, has great gas mileage, and until the last few months it was working without any major problems. Hondas are pretty sound cars.
It has 75k miles on it, is in good condition, has a a few rattling sounds, but overall is still a really good car. It's not really that bad. I just fixed some necessary stuff (breaks, A/C, got a tune up, oil change). It's very safe to drive but I probably still could have every rattle and thud sound fixed for another $1k or so (making the work about $2k in all) and drive that baby into the ground for the next 5 years...but for a car worth $4-$5k is that worth it? Maybe. Probably.
So why would I want a new(er) car? Well I just feel like I want a car that is a bit nicer, and not
The truth is I've been fixated for the last couple of months on cars (more so than I normally am). I'm talking car envy like woah. When I'm out driving all I look at are other cars these days..."Would I like that?" or "Oh, I like that".
At one point I was so distracted this week looking at all the cars around me that I missed my exit coming home from work on the highway.
Sounds like a healthy obsession, no?
Most likely why I'm always a bit car fixated is I grew up with my parents having beat up older cars that i was embarrased of. I think that this feeling (among other things we couldn't really afford at that time) has left an imprint on me. I, like millions of others, see cars as a bit of a status symbol...or an indication that someone has "made it". So now that I'm a real working adult again, and have "made it", I want a nicer car.
Financially it has only recently made sense since I'm now working, not in school and I'm living at home for the time being. Since I'm saving money by not paying rent, I'll be able to use some money that has been tucked away (my dad left me a little bit when he passed away, and I've finally decided it's time to use it) and graduate to a new-to-me car.
It was kind of emotional to let go and say that I'm going to use the money from my dad as it is the last thing I have from him . Ultimately what I wanted was for that money to be spent on something meaningful that I could feel like he "gave" to me.
What I realized the other day (when I decided that I'd use the money, finally) is that what he's giving me is really a gift of some freedom. He's giving me a fresh start with some of my finances after grad school (which helps with the anxiety) and a little help with snagging some newish wheels (which helps lessen the lame factor of living at home for a bit).
So, yesterday I paid off my two credit cards which is a huge relief. Yay for my only debt now being enough school loans to feed a small country!!
Next step is car hunting. I have to do some research to see what I can really afford, and what I want. Granted I won't be able to nab the Mercedes that I'd love (in banana yellow, obvi), or a nice new hybrid SUV, or even a brand-brand new car, but maybe I'll land a ride that is only a few years old that will last me as long as my trusty Civic has.
I don't think it's too lofty to want something to show for my hard work in graduate school and for the challenging job I've taken on for my career (but mostly just something nice to sit in for my commute everyday).
Ultimately I'll probably be buying someone else's "I'm ready for a nicer car"-car, and hopefully when I trade mine in, she ends up with someone who loves her, who will get some good years out of her (at least before good ol' Vic ends up as a crushed up block of steel, rubber and plastic in some landfill).
Hey, at the very least I'm being kind of green and sticking it out with the Droid, for now.
Wish me luck car hunting, if you have car buying tips let me know!
Vrooom. Until next time,
E
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I'll admit it, I love my hometown.
Just to calm your worries that I've gone off the deep end, I'm actually doing okay and appreciating literally where I am...
Yesterday we celebrated my mom's 50th birthday. In short, she is an amazing lady. I'm very fortunate that she's my mom and my friend (and so far a great roommate, too).
I was so excited to give her the present I got for her, that I gave it to her before I left for work (which was my first day!), versus at dinner. Hopefully she'll get some great use and joy out of the sailing membership I got her! She hasn't been sailing is some 30 years, but used to love it and teach it at a summer camp off the coast.
We ate at this nice restaurant attached to the mall (that has been redone a couple of times since I was a kid) which had outdoor seating, delicious food, and even better wine. Oh, the wine.
Buzzed, we decided to walk through the mall to sober up and look for shoes for work/fun/summer. I landed a pair of Michael Kors shoes that I'm now obsessed with enough I'd like to wear them around the house.
We had some fun playing around with hats and sunglasses that looked hilarious on us in Nordstrom, and laughed until our stomach muscles burned. Gotta love wine. "Everyone can look like Julia Roberts dahling". I was worried we might get kicked out. Haha, well maybe you had to be there.
Last night was one of those summer nights where you can't tell if it's cool or not because it's a bit humid. On my drive home after our buzzes wore off, things were quiet and still...except for my Civic. Windows down, music blasting and my arm windsurfing as I drove through the tree lined streets of my hometown.
I flashed back to amazing memories of high school.
Walking through the halls of our school, being a part of the 420 or so of us that made up our class, bonfires, nights at the hut and tressel, football games, the excitement of liking someone new, school dances, sports, my teams, being so sore at field hockey camp you couldn't walk up the stairs to your room, laughing, the same lunch table every day, driving around in a caravan of cars looking for something to do, 24 hour BK, decorating friends cars with cones from road construction, sledding down the aqueduct, ice cream cake police fake outs, parties - so many parties (keep your eyes open for a post about parties, soon), knowing where you can park your car and be near invisible to do whatever, knowing where you need to avoid parking your car, early release days walking to get pizza, not having a worry in the world but feeling like everything was the biggest deal, the video store I worked at, sneaking out the window at night (mom, you already know about this), crushes on my friends' older siblings and their friends, tackle football nights, getting into trouble for acting your age, not getting into trouble for things you should have...
This large town, which is very diverse in all senses (race/ethnicity, socio-economic status, religion, nation of origin, occupations, life path's, etc), has provided me with a wonderful community to be brought up in. There are parts of it that are beautiful and green, which I've appreciated so much more now that I had lived in the city for so long, there are parts that are city-like, there are parts you shouldn't go after dusk, and there are parts where when you drive by you can't help remember the good ol' days.
Last night, I became overcome by thankfulness that this is where I grew up and even more profoundly, that the closest friends in my life were given to me in the simplest of circumstances. I posted a status on facebook that was similar to this posts sentiment, and several people commented and liked it, so I figured I might as well share it here.
What's more heart warming than the beauty of parts of the town, is the people that fill it or used to fill it, and have been wonderful parts of my life.
This past year alone there have been a number of deaths that have shaken our community. Every time a large part of my class gets together to support the loved ones, we always say that we have to stop meeting like this....and it's true. We need to start having happy occasions bringing us together. Hopefully I can round everyone up for our reunion next year at the very least.
We've been very fortunate, however, that our class has stayed so close.
In high school, like all high schools, we had our groups. Those groups from what I can tell have stayed in tact for the most part, with some overlapping and branching out.
Very few of us went really far away and stayed there. Most have ended up back in our town or in the city 22 miles away, and still hang out with our close friends from home.
My college friends, my work friends from my advertising days, and even my grad school friends, didn't often identify with still being very close with those from home. Of course people still had friends from their own childhoods, but most of their friends were from college or after. I'd say 90% of my large friend circle (I feel blessed by the amount of people I can call my good friends, not just on Facebook) is all from pre-school through high school.
I wonder if this is a unique phenomenon for our community since it's so large that our bonds had to be really strong? Or since we had some adversity and loss in high school days and since, that we're all 'in this together'?...I don't know what it is, but I like it that aspect of my community.
We've all changed a great deal since high school, but it's like we've all grown together since then. Given the recent get-togethers (though seemingly for terrible reasons) I think I've noticed that there are people that I wasn't very close with in high school that I could see myself enjoying being closer friends with now.
At the risk of sounding like a townie (it's always said so negatively, but frankly in this town it's just recognizing a good thing, in my opinion)...I'll admit it, I love my hometown.
As I settle into this town again for these next few months or so, I'm looking forward to spending some time in my old stomping grounds, seeing some of the people that are here still, seeing people when they visit their families, and appreciating the trees. So let me know when you're in town.
I'm definitely missing the city, but feeling a bit more relaxed about the whole thing now that the move is over.
...and hey, one of the best benefits of the suburbs? I can wear heels to and from work without commuter flats, because I'm in the car versus walking. At this point I'll take it.
Until next time,
Hometown girl, E
Yesterday we celebrated my mom's 50th birthday. In short, she is an amazing lady. I'm very fortunate that she's my mom and my friend (and so far a great roommate, too).
I was so excited to give her the present I got for her, that I gave it to her before I left for work (which was my first day!), versus at dinner. Hopefully she'll get some great use and joy out of the sailing membership I got her! She hasn't been sailing is some 30 years, but used to love it and teach it at a summer camp off the coast.
We ate at this nice restaurant attached to the mall (that has been redone a couple of times since I was a kid) which had outdoor seating, delicious food, and even better wine. Oh, the wine.
Buzzed, we decided to walk through the mall to sober up and look for shoes for work/fun/summer. I landed a pair of Michael Kors shoes that I'm now obsessed with enough I'd like to wear them around the house.
We had some fun playing around with hats and sunglasses that looked hilarious on us in Nordstrom, and laughed until our stomach muscles burned. Gotta love wine. "Everyone can look like Julia Roberts dahling". I was worried we might get kicked out. Haha, well maybe you had to be there.
Last night was one of those summer nights where you can't tell if it's cool or not because it's a bit humid. On my drive home after our buzzes wore off, things were quiet and still...except for my Civic. Windows down, music blasting and my arm windsurfing as I drove through the tree lined streets of my hometown.
I flashed back to amazing memories of high school.
Walking through the halls of our school, being a part of the 420 or so of us that made up our class, bonfires, nights at the hut and tressel, football games, the excitement of liking someone new, school dances, sports, my teams, being so sore at field hockey camp you couldn't walk up the stairs to your room, laughing, the same lunch table every day, driving around in a caravan of cars looking for something to do, 24 hour BK, decorating friends cars with cones from road construction, sledding down the aqueduct, ice cream cake police fake outs, parties - so many parties (keep your eyes open for a post about parties, soon), knowing where you can park your car and be near invisible to do whatever, knowing where you need to avoid parking your car, early release days walking to get pizza, not having a worry in the world but feeling like everything was the biggest deal, the video store I worked at, sneaking out the window at night (mom, you already know about this), crushes on my friends' older siblings and their friends, tackle football nights, getting into trouble for acting your age, not getting into trouble for things you should have...
This large town, which is very diverse in all senses (race/ethnicity, socio-economic status, religion, nation of origin, occupations, life path's, etc), has provided me with a wonderful community to be brought up in. There are parts of it that are beautiful and green, which I've appreciated so much more now that I had lived in the city for so long, there are parts that are city-like, there are parts you shouldn't go after dusk, and there are parts where when you drive by you can't help remember the good ol' days.
Last night, I became overcome by thankfulness that this is where I grew up and even more profoundly, that the closest friends in my life were given to me in the simplest of circumstances. I posted a status on facebook that was similar to this posts sentiment, and several people commented and liked it, so I figured I might as well share it here.
What's more heart warming than the beauty of parts of the town, is the people that fill it or used to fill it, and have been wonderful parts of my life.
This past year alone there have been a number of deaths that have shaken our community. Every time a large part of my class gets together to support the loved ones, we always say that we have to stop meeting like this....and it's true. We need to start having happy occasions bringing us together. Hopefully I can round everyone up for our reunion next year at the very least.
We've been very fortunate, however, that our class has stayed so close.
In high school, like all high schools, we had our groups. Those groups from what I can tell have stayed in tact for the most part, with some overlapping and branching out.
Very few of us went really far away and stayed there. Most have ended up back in our town or in the city 22 miles away, and still hang out with our close friends from home.
My college friends, my work friends from my advertising days, and even my grad school friends, didn't often identify with still being very close with those from home. Of course people still had friends from their own childhoods, but most of their friends were from college or after. I'd say 90% of my large friend circle (I feel blessed by the amount of people I can call my good friends, not just on Facebook) is all from pre-school through high school.
I wonder if this is a unique phenomenon for our community since it's so large that our bonds had to be really strong? Or since we had some adversity and loss in high school days and since, that we're all 'in this together'?...I don't know what it is, but I like it that aspect of my community.
We've all changed a great deal since high school, but it's like we've all grown together since then. Given the recent get-togethers (though seemingly for terrible reasons) I think I've noticed that there are people that I wasn't very close with in high school that I could see myself enjoying being closer friends with now.
At the risk of sounding like a townie (it's always said so negatively, but frankly in this town it's just recognizing a good thing, in my opinion)...I'll admit it, I love my hometown.
As I settle into this town again for these next few months or so, I'm looking forward to spending some time in my old stomping grounds, seeing some of the people that are here still, seeing people when they visit their families, and appreciating the trees. So let me know when you're in town.
I'm definitely missing the city, but feeling a bit more relaxed about the whole thing now that the move is over.
...and hey, one of the best benefits of the suburbs? I can wear heels to and from work without commuter flats, because I'm in the car versus walking. At this point I'll take it.
Until next time,
Hometown girl, E
Friday, June 17, 2011
Moving home gracefully and temporarily. (Part II)
I'm not sure I'm doing such a great job at this whole graceful thing.
For those of you who know me pretty well, I'm not a crier. I can probably count how many times I've cried in the last 3 or so years on my hands, and they've typically been by all accounts cry-worthy events (break ups, loss of a loved one, loved ones diagnosis of cancer, etc). I don't get overly emotional and cry very often (okay fine, sometimes in sappy movies). My therapist thinks I need to cry more, and I think she's probably right. I hold it in, keep composed and sometimes I need to let it all out.
And that brings us to this morning.
This morning I sat on my bathroom floor crying as I was sorting through bottles with 1/5th left of shampoo or body lotion left in them, feeling overwhelmed with what to do with them all...on top of the chaos that is my apartment in order to get it ready to move out tomorrow. (Note: I ended up combining all the shampoos I liked regardless of the brand, to one super shampoo. My hair will not know what to do with itself.)
I'm sad. I'm sad to be leaving my amazing apartment with the amazing view of the city, its tall ceilings, crown molding and beautiful natural light; I'm sad to be leaving the city that I've lived in for 5 years and love so much; I'm sad that while I have friends moving in to apartments to live alone for a year or so, or in with their boyfriends...that I'm moving home; I'm sad that when people say "It's what's best for you right now, it's a smart move for the time being to save up some money", that it's true. I'm sad.
This week, and the last two weeks, I've just not really been myself. I've been half moved between my apartment and my old-now-new bedroom, which means that it has been chaos in both places. I've slept like crap and woke up disoriented when I was at home, and at my apartment, forgetting where I slept that night (I've been alternating as I bring loads of stuff home), we had a friend tragically lose a parent which was so sad, and also brought up so much for me in terms of my parental situation...especially since I'm moving home and the last time I lived at home my step-dad lived there too. So it's just been a loaded week.
I've also, in the midst of all of this, began to set up of my office for my new job (the work in progress is pictured right, I'll spare you from pictures of what my apartment looks like). It's tidy, clean, kind of serene, I've gotten compliments on it from other therapists at the office, and I feel really proud of it. Basically this is my criteria for places that are mine...it's been my oasis this last week, oddly enough. I'm very much looking forward to building the beginning of my career there. I'm very thankful that the work aspect of my life is starting to take shape and feel grounded, while the rest of my life feels fragmented.
So after I stopped crying, I felt much better. I guess I needed a release, and since I wasn't getting laid on that bathroom floor, crying was how it manifested.
I decided to get my obligatory Venti. I felt a little weird ordering at Starbucks with my sunglasses on given that it's been pouring out, but I'm not one of those attractive criers...my eyes puff up and it looks like I've been stung by a bee and need an epi-pen.
Alas, halfway through my Venti I feel much more clear headed and determined to make this apartment, and all my stuff in it, my bitch.
I didn't want moving to be an emotional thing, I fought it. I've been talking about it rationally since it is smart for me to do right now, and will pay off (literally and figuratively) in the long run if I take some time to not pay rent. But what I know about myself, and what I tell my clients, when you fight the emotional piece of things it gets bigger and bigger.
Bigger and bigger until you feel like you've lost your mind and are sitting on your bathroom floor crying to a bottle of Panteen ProV. Oy.
Okay, so in all of this I've learned a few things. Most importantly, a slow move by doing it piecemeal is counter to every fiber that makes up who I am. I'm an Aries (freakily my horoscopes have been right on lately, anyone else?), I'm impulsive and quick in my decisions, I need things to be the way I need them (type A, order and control are desired), I function better when challenging things happen like ripping off a band aid: over and done. Frankly, you're all probably sick of hearing about my packing and moving at this point, so we'll all be much better off come the end of this weekend.
This long fiasco that I thought would be helpful in terms of moving things bit by bit was a mistake. Next time I'll hire (hot) movers, I'll do it all at once, and I'll be moving somewhere that I'm really excited to live, or maybe even own depending up on how long I can save rent money.
Okay, enough procrastinating. I'm off pack the rest of my stuff for really real this time.
Until next time,
E
For those of you who know me pretty well, I'm not a crier. I can probably count how many times I've cried in the last 3 or so years on my hands, and they've typically been by all accounts cry-worthy events (break ups, loss of a loved one, loved ones diagnosis of cancer, etc). I don't get overly emotional and cry very often (okay fine, sometimes in sappy movies). My therapist thinks I need to cry more, and I think she's probably right. I hold it in, keep composed and sometimes I need to let it all out.
And that brings us to this morning.
This morning I sat on my bathroom floor crying as I was sorting through bottles with 1/5th left of shampoo or body lotion left in them, feeling overwhelmed with what to do with them all...on top of the chaos that is my apartment in order to get it ready to move out tomorrow. (Note: I ended up combining all the shampoos I liked regardless of the brand, to one super shampoo. My hair will not know what to do with itself.)
I'm sad. I'm sad to be leaving my amazing apartment with the amazing view of the city, its tall ceilings, crown molding and beautiful natural light; I'm sad to be leaving the city that I've lived in for 5 years and love so much; I'm sad that while I have friends moving in to apartments to live alone for a year or so, or in with their boyfriends...that I'm moving home; I'm sad that when people say "It's what's best for you right now, it's a smart move for the time being to save up some money", that it's true. I'm sad.
This week, and the last two weeks, I've just not really been myself. I've been half moved between my apartment and my old-now-new bedroom, which means that it has been chaos in both places. I've slept like crap and woke up disoriented when I was at home, and at my apartment, forgetting where I slept that night (I've been alternating as I bring loads of stuff home), we had a friend tragically lose a parent which was so sad, and also brought up so much for me in terms of my parental situation...especially since I'm moving home and the last time I lived at home my step-dad lived there too. So it's just been a loaded week.
 |
| Who wouldn't want to get therapy here? :) |
So after I stopped crying, I felt much better. I guess I needed a release, and since I wasn't getting laid on that bathroom floor, crying was how it manifested.
I decided to get my obligatory Venti. I felt a little weird ordering at Starbucks with my sunglasses on given that it's been pouring out, but I'm not one of those attractive criers...my eyes puff up and it looks like I've been stung by a bee and need an epi-pen.
Alas, halfway through my Venti I feel much more clear headed and determined to make this apartment, and all my stuff in it, my bitch.
I didn't want moving to be an emotional thing, I fought it. I've been talking about it rationally since it is smart for me to do right now, and will pay off (literally and figuratively) in the long run if I take some time to not pay rent. But what I know about myself, and what I tell my clients, when you fight the emotional piece of things it gets bigger and bigger.
Bigger and bigger until you feel like you've lost your mind and are sitting on your bathroom floor crying to a bottle of Panteen ProV. Oy.
Okay, so in all of this I've learned a few things. Most importantly, a slow move by doing it piecemeal is counter to every fiber that makes up who I am. I'm an Aries (freakily my horoscopes have been right on lately, anyone else?), I'm impulsive and quick in my decisions, I need things to be the way I need them (type A, order and control are desired), I function better when challenging things happen like ripping off a band aid: over and done. Frankly, you're all probably sick of hearing about my packing and moving at this point, so we'll all be much better off come the end of this weekend.
This long fiasco that I thought would be helpful in terms of moving things bit by bit was a mistake. Next time I'll hire (hot) movers, I'll do it all at once, and I'll be moving somewhere that I'm really excited to live, or maybe even own depending up on how long I can save rent money.
Okay, enough procrastinating. I'm off pack the rest of my stuff for really real this time.
Until next time,
E
Monday, June 13, 2011
grief and loss
Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. They can all bring up happy memories, and also bring up challenging ones.
Today would be my dad's birthday. He would have turned 76 today (holy cow). It's been just over 4 years since he passed away. Crazy how time flies, at the same time it feels like a lifetime ago. With Father's day this upcoming weekend, I'm sure I'll be thinking of him and my step-dad a lot.
This weekend we got news that a friend of our's father passed away. Every loss is different, every relationship is different, but when life as you know it changes suddenly, it's terrible. Something that many of us are familiar with. My heart goes out to her and her family at this painful time.
For those of you who have lost someone, or fear losing someone who may be battling with an illness, when you hear of another person's loss it can be quite triggering. Grief is such a profoundly painful and sad experience and it can be illicited by a memory, a sound, a smell, a joke...it's this lingering pain that sits in your chest and chokes up your throat.
I'm by no means a "grief expert". I've experienced a few significant losses, and I lead a grief group for my clients (who lost a significant member of their family - parent, sibling, or best friend) last fall, where I saw some other people's experience in a raw form. While everyone experiences grief in different ways there are the patterns that most people often cycle through, and I'd say it's not a linear path.
The literature says that the grief process is as follows (paraphrased from the Center for Grief & Healing):
While different literature says it in different terms, and combines some stages and breaks others out, you get the idea. It ain't pretty, but they are all normal reactions to a terrible life event like loss.
With losses that I've experienced as well as loved ones' losses, people often don't know what to do for the person grieving.
Some people will recoil and react in what feels like a cold and removed way. This can feel particularly painful when the person is a primary support. Typically this is a reaction of discomfort or fear about what is expected of them, and it may bring up past experiences from their own lives that lay unresolved.
Other people are very hands on and help to take over for the duties of those immediately affected and help with arrangements, continuous support and help out the family immensely.
Most people fall somewhere in the middle, checking in on the loved one who is suffering, offering their help and attending whatever celebrations or ceremonies are being held in the lost one's honor (if at all, some grief is also the loss of a person who has not passed away but is out of their lives, and this becomes complex to resolve and have closure on).
Everyone struggles with what to say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry to hear. They were a great person, they lived a great life. This is terrible, their life was cut too short. They will be missed. I'm here for you. I love you.
In my opinion, and take this for what it is, just you being there as a support is what someone will remember.
I don't remember exactly what people said to me when my dad died, I don't know what people said to me when we found out that my step-dad has terminal cancer, but I do remember the friends who sent me cards, I remember the hugs and the phone calls, I remember people checking in on me and I remember the support and love.
So for supporters my suggestion is this...don't worry so much about what you're saying, maybe with this less is more. What is important are the gestures, the hugs, the support, the favors, the checking in.
Even when the hustle and bustle is over...
Keeping in mind the stages above, and the fact that many people cycle through them, some stages are longer and shorter than others, and that every loss is different in terms of scale and effect...you can imagine that 3 weeks post the passing of their loved one is probably not enough time for them to no longer need support.
The challenge is that life does move forward. You as a supporter, or a griever, have your own challenges in your life, you have work, you have responsibilities, and once you're integrated back to your life it can be really difficult to remember that this person you care about is still actively in pain. Making sure that you are still checking in, even if it isn't as frequent is still really important.
Remember anniversaries of some one's passing is also important. As I said, they can bring up happy but also painful memories. In therapy, we see a lot of people who struggle around the anniversaries of some one's death, the time of year even, can be triggering and bring up the emotions from the loss.
I guess what I'm saying is there is no wrong way to be a support as long as you're being an active support. Maintain the closeness and let the person know you're there even after the initial loss, as your loved one still will likely need it.
Take the time to tell those in your life that you love them today. We don't always get reminders to be grateful until something terrible happens, so let this be a reminder instead.
Until next time,
E
Today would be my dad's birthday. He would have turned 76 today (holy cow). It's been just over 4 years since he passed away. Crazy how time flies, at the same time it feels like a lifetime ago. With Father's day this upcoming weekend, I'm sure I'll be thinking of him and my step-dad a lot.
This weekend we got news that a friend of our's father passed away. Every loss is different, every relationship is different, but when life as you know it changes suddenly, it's terrible. Something that many of us are familiar with. My heart goes out to her and her family at this painful time.
For those of you who have lost someone, or fear losing someone who may be battling with an illness, when you hear of another person's loss it can be quite triggering. Grief is such a profoundly painful and sad experience and it can be illicited by a memory, a sound, a smell, a joke...it's this lingering pain that sits in your chest and chokes up your throat.
I'm by no means a "grief expert". I've experienced a few significant losses, and I lead a grief group for my clients (who lost a significant member of their family - parent, sibling, or best friend) last fall, where I saw some other people's experience in a raw form. While everyone experiences grief in different ways there are the patterns that most people often cycle through, and I'd say it's not a linear path.
The literature says that the grief process is as follows (paraphrased from the Center for Grief & Healing):
- Shock - numbness, sometimes no tears or emotion, denial - this typically gives way to being emotional, but some have a prolonged stage of shock. In our culture when someone is emotionless after a loss, it can be unsettling, but is part of the process for many people.
- Emotional Release - person begins to feel the pain, important in these moments to not suppress the feelings or they surface later in unhealthy way. This is typically when strong bonds are strengthened and the sharing of these emotions is healing.
- Preoccupation with the Deceased or the Crisis - grieving person finds it difficult to not think about this person, typically dissipates over time
- Symptoms of Some Physical and Emotional Distress - this may come in different cycles, can look like anxiety, depression, lack of sleep, exhaustion, stomach upset, and others. These feelings are normal physiological effects, and while sometimes they feel alarming they are expected and pass over time.
- Hostile Reactions - anger, frustration, short fuse, this will sometimes catch you off guard. Anger can be directed at anyone, or the person who was lost.
- Guilt - almost always guilt is part of the bereavement process "what could I have done?", "why didn't I just do x?", "why wasn't I able to help?"
- Depression - this isn't considered clinically diagnosed when it is in response to a loss/grief. Typically the low mood of depression and thoughts of hopelessness pass before it becomes a clinical concern.
- Withdrawal - pulling away from social relationships, daily routines are disrupted, "life feels like a bad dream", worth pushing through and being around others during this time, despite it being challenging to do so.
- Resolution and Readjustment - beginning to heal, life is moving forward, acceptance, understanding
While different literature says it in different terms, and combines some stages and breaks others out, you get the idea. It ain't pretty, but they are all normal reactions to a terrible life event like loss.
With losses that I've experienced as well as loved ones' losses, people often don't know what to do for the person grieving.
Some people will recoil and react in what feels like a cold and removed way. This can feel particularly painful when the person is a primary support. Typically this is a reaction of discomfort or fear about what is expected of them, and it may bring up past experiences from their own lives that lay unresolved.
Other people are very hands on and help to take over for the duties of those immediately affected and help with arrangements, continuous support and help out the family immensely.
Most people fall somewhere in the middle, checking in on the loved one who is suffering, offering their help and attending whatever celebrations or ceremonies are being held in the lost one's honor (if at all, some grief is also the loss of a person who has not passed away but is out of their lives, and this becomes complex to resolve and have closure on).
Everyone struggles with what to say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry to hear. They were a great person, they lived a great life. This is terrible, their life was cut too short. They will be missed. I'm here for you. I love you.
In my opinion, and take this for what it is, just you being there as a support is what someone will remember.
I don't remember exactly what people said to me when my dad died, I don't know what people said to me when we found out that my step-dad has terminal cancer, but I do remember the friends who sent me cards, I remember the hugs and the phone calls, I remember people checking in on me and I remember the support and love.
So for supporters my suggestion is this...don't worry so much about what you're saying, maybe with this less is more. What is important are the gestures, the hugs, the support, the favors, the checking in.
Even when the hustle and bustle is over...
Keeping in mind the stages above, and the fact that many people cycle through them, some stages are longer and shorter than others, and that every loss is different in terms of scale and effect...you can imagine that 3 weeks post the passing of their loved one is probably not enough time for them to no longer need support.
The challenge is that life does move forward. You as a supporter, or a griever, have your own challenges in your life, you have work, you have responsibilities, and once you're integrated back to your life it can be really difficult to remember that this person you care about is still actively in pain. Making sure that you are still checking in, even if it isn't as frequent is still really important.
Remember anniversaries of some one's passing is also important. As I said, they can bring up happy but also painful memories. In therapy, we see a lot of people who struggle around the anniversaries of some one's death, the time of year even, can be triggering and bring up the emotions from the loss.
I guess what I'm saying is there is no wrong way to be a support as long as you're being an active support. Maintain the closeness and let the person know you're there even after the initial loss, as your loved one still will likely need it.
Take the time to tell those in your life that you love them today. We don't always get reminders to be grateful until something terrible happens, so let this be a reminder instead.
Until next time,
E
Sunday, June 12, 2011
on having attractive friends
This week/weekend kicked off in a weird funk and for a few reasons, that I won't get into here, I was feeling already a bit thrown off kilter and deflated in a sense. I think that heightened my awareness about my singledom and reopened a part of myself where I become very self critical. So that is the stage that this musing is being played out on.
At the risk of sounding whiny (which I typically try and avoid, I swear) I'm going to briefly tell you how sometimes I have had the fleeting thought "it would be kind of nice if my friends were ugly".
I'm really fortunate to have a lot of amazing friends, really I feel blessed.
I have a lot of amazing friends who also happen to be very attractive. I'm not sure how it happened but I ended up with a wide array of beautiful friends ranging from tall to short, thin to shapely, dark to light...a fruit salad of ladies you could say.
What's even better is that not only are my friends attractive, but they are all smart, funny, driven, successful and awesome. I love them very much.
So 99% of the time I'm glad I have these superstar friends.
These are friends who are great supports to me, make me laugh, help me when I cry, look cute in pictures with me, have great conversations and heated debates with me (maybe about purple being a great color, the meaning of life, or the cute guy at the bar)...
These are friends who are great supports to me, make me laugh, help me when I cry, look cute in pictures with me, have great conversations and heated debates with me (maybe about purple being a great color, the meaning of life, or the cute guy at the bar)...
But I'll go ahead and say 1% of the time (so we're talking like 3 days a year), I just wish they were a little less, you know...attractive. I realize this sounds terrible, and to my friends reading this, please don't take this the wrong way it is really a compliment.
Am I alone on this? I can't imagine you've never wished you were better looking than the people you were standing with, unless of course you already are. But in that case you probably don't really know it and still feel that way. And if you do know you're the most attractive one, then well you can just click to the next blog and spare me the embarrassment of reading further.
So about guys, when I'm out with my friends...Okay this is when the perhaps selfishness, a spot of jealousy and apparent self consciousness comes in. I'll say it.
I have nights were I look very good. I mean I'm not a freaking neanderthal, so sometimes I go out I feel really good and think I look really good (and obviously since I'm a girl there are nights where I really don't feel that way). Even on the nights where I feel good? The guy that I'd like to chat me up, talks to my friend. I don't blame them! But I do wonder how I can have so many strangers coming up to me in the street asking for directions, the time and donations, but in a bar I'm apparently less approachable. Maybe there is a vibe I'm giving that I have to work on?
There have been many instances where someone I had my eye on is interested in my friend. Most of the time it's not a big deal, because I'm like a goldfish and forget and in 5 minutes there will likely be someone else I have my eye on. But after a while you can't help but start to feel like you won't ever get picked first.
This past week/weekend there were a few instances where friends were getting attention I would have preferred to get (who doesn't like some good attention?), and I think since I'm in a bit of a withdrawal mode I was jonesing for some attention so it was challenging for me...which is never a good combination with alcohol. Those nights often end with either being mad and/or crying, unashamedly making out in the bar, or a boy you don't like/know in your bed (or so I've heard...).
It's like being hungry when you are grocery shopping, you buy stuff that is not good for you, and too much of it.
Anyway. I was annoyed, but I got over it. Like I do.
Last night was a lot of fun, and while we were out I said to my friend (in the context of talking to these guys who had followed "us" to the next bar) "I could walk into a bar naked, and they'd still look at you" and we laughed. I mean of course she knew I was kidding and playing around, because if I HAD walked into a bar naked they would throw me out and it would cause such a commotion that they surely would be looking at me.
Of course here I am in the bar complaining guys don't approach me, and then almost immediately after that a "40" year old (air quotes because I didn't believe him, his age was not apparent as he clearly worked out a lot, was tan and possibly had plastic surgery) came up to me and was interested, which is what he told me. I guess when you're 40 you don't need better lines than that.
I mean it was flattering as he was a very attractive "40" year old, but I was not really interested in this slurring, wobbly dude. It was one of those where if I was quicker I would have given my fake name. Thankfully he was escorted out of the bar, and when he made his way back in (not great security apparently) I was able to make a dash for it...to Chinatown for some lomain with my friend.
I mean clearly I'm not being ignored in the bars or at parties, and I do hit it off with guys when I meet them at the coffee shop, but I think this last week has kind of lead me to have a microscope on the fact that this guy thing doesn't feel like it's working for me right now.
So back to the issue at hand. What does one do when their friends are so hot? Wait for them all to land boyfriends?
Get over it and be glad you're friends are awesome? Yep.
I told my friend I was posting about wanting ugly friends and she was like "You are who your friends are...plus, you're stuck with me 4eva...no new friends" (she was gchatting me on her phone so I'll excuse the 8th grade usage of 4eva). Haha, she cracks me up. She's right though, I'm keeping good company and really that's what matters and that's what reflects on me...I guess in a superficial but also in a deeper way. Like I said, these chicks ain't no bimbos.
Most of my friends are in relationships right now, and dating really great guys. I'm very, very happy for my friends in these happy and healthy relationships (aside from my having third wheel, or fifth wheel, or seventh wheel syndrome) and hopefully this pandemic of relationships ends up being contagious.
Ultimately, my goal (and what is in my control in this situation) is to be less caught up in who talks to who and who looks like what...
I think I just need to continue to focus on the music playing, the friends that I love being around and the margaritas.
Until next time
E
Friday, June 10, 2011
I prefer the term, Sports Layperson.
It can't hurt the level of excitement over the Stanley Cup series, that one team is from the US and one is from Canada. Not only are the home towns fighting for their title, but the country's are as well.
Facebook, Twitter, and the like, have been littered with anti-canadian messages, more than the typical jab to our neighbors up north (and likely the same towards the US also). I have the feeling that it wouldn't be as tense or hostile if it was just another team in the US. Hostile still? Sure, it's hockey! However, I think this takes on a whole new "them" and "us" dynamic that is hard not to get wrapped up in.
Due to the intense first 4 games, and the much anticipated next 2-3...I figure I'd talk a bit about sports, and get this off my chest...
Okay, I admit it.
Fair Weather Fan. Bandwagon Fan. Woman. Whatever you want to call me.
I prefer the term, Sports Layperson.
I have lady bits, okay? Sue me. I can't name all of our players. I can't tell you the stats from 20 years ago, or even really last year. Sometimes I forget who my team is playing that night or what the final score was yesterday.
I can, however, follow the games, understand the rules, get excited and cheer, get pissed and swear, get wrapped up in a good match and enjoy watching/being at a game, and I at the very least wish I knew and could remember all the details...Isn't that good enough?
Hey look, someone who enjoys the entertainment value of sports (but doesn't know our key baseball player's RBI this year, and doesn't want the other team to die) has an opinion! Weird.
Even though it is mid-June essentially I've so enjoyed this extended hockey season. Actually hockey is like wine. I'll take it however I can get it. My heart lies with college hockey, but pro hockey is a lot of fun on a big screen or in person. There is something about the speed of the game that keeps me enthralled with it. And if I'm being honest, even though I'm anti-violence in day-to-day life, the fights can be exhilarating and I eagerly await them.
I have little to no desire to watch golf on TV, but I've been to several pro golf tournaments and enjoyed them greatly (especially in VIP tents). I of course stereotypically like golfers who wear flashy colors, are attractive, are Australian, and who haven't gotten caught railing 20 women who aren't their wives. Surprising, I know. Don't get me wrong I think Tiger is a phenomenal player, but there is no way around the fact that he's also a phenomenal player. I feel like I'd like to try playing golf, I will probably get frustrated as I do when I'm not good at something, but in the off chance that I like it and can play okay, I think I should give it a shot.
Opposite to golf, I think I prefer football on TV. There you can see everything, you don't have to be either in the blaring heat or the blistering cold. Plus, in the nosebleeds the field looks as small as your TV anyway. I've loved having Sunday Funday's with my girls from home, eating and drinking together and watching the games. There is something special about football nights and I like that it's on a couch versus in the snow. Consistent with other sports' final games, the Superbowl is really fun to watch.
Baseball, because of my upbringing, is an institution. I enjoy it, it makes me think of summer and it's a thrill to be at a game and be part of what feels like history in the making. My grandmother is one of the most avid fans that I know, I'm pretty sure she's called the trainer for our team to tell them medical advice when our pitcher hurt his ankle a few years back. I mean, she's invested. I realize in my city it's blasphemy but I admit unless it's a very close game, once the 7th (sometimes 4th) inning comes around I'm ready to leave the park for bed, or to change the channel.
I like soccer/footie partially because of my European roots, but also because there are very few things that are as exciting as the World Cup. I think there is something about this that rivals all other sports because it becomes about nationality versus just a game (kind of like the Stanley Cup this year but on a much larger scale). This past World Cup, the Netherlands were in the finals and I felt very proud to have been born there (despite their ultimate loss to Spain). It's more in line with the Olympics and how it can feel like pride and solidifying one's place in the world is riding on each goal.
Basketball. Oh basketball. I wonder if it's because I'm not particularly good at it, or because the 1pt, 1pt, 3pt, 1pt, 1pt, 1pt, 1pt, 3pt pattern of the game maxes out my excitement early on...and then is only reinvigorated in the last 2 minutes. I really enjoyed the couple of pro basketball games I've been to, but I'd rarely chose to watch it on TV with the exception of March Madness (since that peeks my gambling interest).
I suppose my attention span is really only maintained when the game is very intense/close, the team is in the finals of some sort, or I feel particularly tied to the team for personal reasons. I'm sorry, but this is the truth. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, however being from an area where sports are religion I'm sure many people would not admit to it.
Everyone here appears to be a die hard.
Jumping on the bandwagon, is said like it's this horrible phenomenon. There is a reason why there is a term for it, a lot of people follow this route. I guess I'd rather be a fan when things are close or are going well for my teams, so that I'm being more efficient. It's better than not being a fan at all, right?
Women who are sports nuts? They're awesome. I'm jealous. I have some friends who grew up with older brothers who seem to know everything there is to know about sports and keep up with it all. I think it's really a skill and I wish I could do it, but alas, I can't. I have a hard time maintaining dates and names of major wars, never mind battles on the pitch.
I think the majority of men are sports obsessed. There is probably a healthy balance and some people take it a bit far. When it's the finals, by all means go all out and watch with unwavering focus. However, with sports like Basketball and Baseball when there are 1,000 games a season (I know this isn't accurate), you can calm down and save some time, energy, money by varying your interests slightly and taking up another hobby.
This is rare, but in the situation where you happen upon the guys who are "eh" about any sports or any sports team, I wonder. I wonder if they feel they don't have an allegiance to a particular city, if they didn't play sports as a kid or if they are more interested in the Ballet (not that there's anything wrong with that). I mean I think that some enjoyment from watching and keeping up with sports is a good quality in a guy...but who am I to judge. They don't need to be able to answer trivia about it to be okay in my book. Frankly I don't even have a book or I'd be able to keep track of these damn sports stats.
Anyway, I do really like sports. I'd even say I love sports when they are exciting (by my definition) and bring us together.
Will I be able to tell you who scored in tonight's hockey game? Probably not. But like some of you I'll likely blame it on on the beer.
Until next time,
E
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)